Definition
by Ember411
Summary: A word is just a word. A definition is a true statement. Rollisi
1. October 27

**I've been watching a ton of Amanda-Carisi clilps lately. I watched _Community Policing_ the other day and had an idea.**

* * *

 **Definition.**

 _Summary: A word is just a word. A definition is a true statement._

It was a Saturday in New York City. A cool late October breeze was among the warm day and it was mid-afternoon in one of the local children parks. Children were running around the park playing different games with one another and climbing on the playground equipment. An older woman with her blonde hair loose and winter hat on her head was in the park keeping a close eye on her almost one year old blonde girl. She knew from her line of work that in the blink of her eyes her Jesse could be taken. Even if she _was_ on the toddler swings.

"Come on Carisi I'm getting cold."

"Just when she's having fun too," The man replied with a smile. "Five more minutes, Amanda."

"I still have to go into the station and get my real winter jacket." Amanda stated. She rubbed her hands against her arms to keep the little warmth that her late summer but not warm enough winter jacket provided . "How did I agree to letting you take me out to lunch with Jesse on a cold day again?"

"Uncle Sonny's got the magic in him." Sonny chuckled as he gently pushed the swing again. "Ready Jesse? Here we go!"

Jesse giggled.

Amanda observed the scene in front of her. She never would admit it herself to others but watching Carisi push Jesse on the swings was something Amanda loved. She had no real idea why she loved it but only assumed it was because she had seen other dads pushed their babies on the swings and for a few months it was Amanda pushing Jesse. Not that a single mother could push her child and have it viewed as completely strange, but sometimes Amanda wished that there was a difference.

Oddly there wasn't much happening at the SVU station minus fellow detectives and cops doing paperwork at their desks and a couple of them on their late lunch breaks. The moment the trio entered the building, Amanda had to use the bathroom and Jesse was not going without her. Carisi offered to grab her jacket from her desk and meet them back in the hallway.

Amanda walked into the women's bathroom to discover she wasn't the only one in there. A man at the changing table was startled by Amanda's incoming presence and jumped. "Damn!" He shouted before seeing there was no danger, just Amanda. "Sorry. Um, I'm alone here and she needed a change and there isn't a table in the men's room—"

Amanda waved her hand up to signify him to stop talking. "Don't worry about it." She said and walked to one of the larger stalls. At least one pro to being a single mother was that if was just her she didn't need to apologize for walking into a women's room to change Jesse's diaper.

Then again she did feel a bit bad that a single or dating or married father did have an issue if their child needed a change in public. If there were no changing tables in men's bathrooms than what was left for them and their solid pamper baby?

Amanda walked back into the squad room with Jesse a few minutes later. Jesse was babbling happily,in her arms. "Yeah, Uncle Sonny has mommy's jacket." Amanda smiled just as she entered the room. Amanda looked up just in time to see Olivia, Carisi and one other face she didn't think she'd see in a long time.

"Amanda!" He said happily.

"Declan."


	2. Squad Room

**Well look who finally update. Thought I forgot, didn't I?**

* * *

Amanda was still standing astonished at the sight in front of her. Declan was in New York? Did he just arrived back? How long was he going to be here? Wasn't he off hunting down human traffickers in other states?

The light brown hair continued to smile at her. He almost didn't noticed the almost year old baby girl in Amanda's arms. Instantly, Declan looked at Amanda with a confused but questionable expression. "Is this who I think this is?" He asked as he came walking over to the two blondes.

"Uh huh." Amanda said in a straight tone, but a little absent minded. She shifted Jesse up on her hip a bit and looked at the blonde. "This is Jesse."

"Hi Jesse," Declan said in a friendly child tone. "Nice to meet you, little girl. I'm your daddy."

The little girl looked at this new person and studied him for a few moments before moving her hand up and down. She rested her head on her mother's shoulder, looking rather bored but focused on this new person.

"How old is she? A year?"

"Almost. Her birthday is November twenty-third."

"May I hold her?"

"Oh sure, of course." Amanda said. "Here we go, Jesse." Amanda handed the toddler to Declan.

The light brunet man held Jesse the way Amanda was just holding and looked at her face. "She looks so much like you."

"Yeah. She's quiet now because she's never met you, but she's a loud mouth with everyone else."

"Yeah no kidding. Bring her somewhere with a bunch of grumps, get her laughing, and the whole joint is laughing." Sonny added in. He saw the looked on Amanda's face; she still appeared a bit stunned to seeing Declan here. That confused him. Why was she in shock to see him? Didn't they communicate a lot? Actually, now looking at the whole scene in front of him, it did seem weird that this was Declan's first time meeting Jesse. He got that Declan was undercover and busy but surly there had to be a few times when the two of them, Declan and Amanda, managed to video chat or something. Right?

"Declan was just telling us that he's on a three day break." Olivia said, breaking the moment of ice.

"Really?" Amanda asked.

"My squad and I tracked down a ring that was selling virgin and non-virgin children to a group that lives just outside the state line. It was the last major group thing before the next ring we investigate over in California." Declan explained. "We leave in four days. I figure I check up on things here while I was nearby."

"Liv's been amazing." Sonny told him.

"Yeah, one of the best." Amanda added. She noticed that Jesse had altered her focused from Declan to Sonny. Unbeknown to either man. "Did you have plans besides checking up here?"

"Not much. But now that I met Jesse I want to get to know her and stuff. Does she like parks?"

"We were just there. I was heading back home after grabbing my jacket." Amanda said. "You could come over later if you want. Around seven?"

"Sounds great." Declan said. "I'll see you then I guess." He turned to Jesse (who focused back to Declan) and said, "See you tonight, little girl."

* * *

Sonny walked Amanda and Jesse back to their home, letting the toddler ride on his shoulders while he held her hands. He took note that the older blonde was quiet for most of the walk back. She just kept her hands in her pocket.

"Hey Rollins, what's so interesting about the sidewalk?" Sonny laughed.

"Funny." Amanda said as they reached the apartment. "Thanks again for the lunch."

"No problem," He answered as he took Jesse off him. "You okay though? You've been quiet the whole time."

"Yeah," Amanda half-lied as she took Jesse from Sonny. "I'm just tired from today."

"Positive?"

"Yeah. Say bye to Uncle Sonny."

"Bye." The toddler waved happily.

"Bye Jesse."

* * *

Amanda walked into the apartment and let the toddler run off to her toys the moment her jacket was off. She looked at the girl and rubbed her forehead. "Mommy's got some explaining to do."


	3. A Short Hangout

**I'm alive. Aren't you shocked?**

 **Honestly I knew what I was going to put in this chapter but just struggled with trying to get it down on paper.**

 **Let me know if this is good, thank you!**

* * *

Amanda had no idea what to do now. What did someone serve for dinner when an old friend/one night stand/father of her daughter was coming over? Probably just have popcorn set up? Coffee was a must, right?

Amanda had just finished bathing Jesse and putting her into her warmest little nightgown (and the only clean pajamas that she had left). Jesse's bedtime was usually eight so at least there would be an hour interaction between Jesse and Declan before she went to bed.

No more than ten minutes later while Jesse and Amanda colored with the markers on the old newspapers a knock came at the door. "Who's that?" Amanda asked Jesse. Usually Jesse always said 'Noah' or 'Abby', the latter being Carisi's niece (a week older than Jesse).

Surprisingly, the little girl said, "Sonny."

The mother walked over to the door and peeked into the peep hole, seeing Declan, and opened the door for him. "Hey Declan."

"Hey Amanda," Declan greeted as he walked into the house. "Did you paint the walls? They look different?"

"Just re-painted over them." She replied. She had noticed the brown bag in his hands. Declan pulled out of the brown bag a bottle of wine. "You didn't have too."

"I don't mind. How have you been?"

"Fine."

"Is Jesse still up?"

Before Amanda could answer, she heard the little girl's voice in the next room call for her. _"Mama!"_ "Right in there," She answered and lead the way.

Inside of the living room Jesse was holding up a scribbled up newspaper and held it up to the older woman. "Mama, you."

"Thank you Jesse. It looks amazing," Amanda admired the scribble. "Jesse, do you remember Declan?"

Jesse looked at the man for a moment before turning away to go back to coloring.

"She still getting use to you."

Declan sat on the floor near the toddler. "That's okay." He looked at the little girl's face. "Wow, there's no trait of me anywhere on her."

"Not physically but sometimes in a play group she's known to take charge as second in command. Sounds like you the time Liv was missing." She smiled. "You want popcorn? I wasn't hungry earlier so I didn't make anything special."

"I'm all set for now."

"Okay."

* * *

Amanda hung around for a few more minutes. She stood up to place away the wine bottle in the fridge. She shut the door, but a little to roughly, as some photos fell from the fridge. She proceeded to pick up the fallen photos, all of which were of Jesse and someone else. Jesse and Noah, Jesse and Abby, Jesse and Liv and the last was of herself, Jesse and Sonny. The last one was taken while the two of them were out on lunch with newborn baby Jesse, the same day Amanda needed to get out of the house for fresh air. The woman who took the photo called the three of them 'an adorable family' before walking off to catch a bus.

Back inside of the living room Amanda watched Declan and Jesse color on the old newspaper. It was silent with occasional nice words from Declan to Jesse ('Wow, that's great!' 'Oh that wonderful!') with Jesse ignoring him for most of it. Finally after what was probably twenty minutes into his visit the little blonde had turned to him and said "Dec. Bew."

"Bew?"

"Blue." Amanda told him and pointed to the blue marker to his left. "The blue marker."

"Oh, okay." He took the marker and handed it to her. "Here you go, little lady."

"Dank loo."

"Ten more minutes Jesse." Amanda gave the warning. She knew the toddler would probably try to fight her on sleeping, but a story would help her.

It only took half of the warning before the tiny blonde would drop her marker and start laying on top of the newspapers. Amanda collected the sleep-to-be toddler and as she stood up she noticed Declan followed her lead. "Say goodnight Jesse." The tot looked over at Declan and gave a small wave as her head rested on her mother's shoulders.

"Good night Jesse," Declan said to the little girl.

* * *

Upstairs Amanda placed almost-entirely-asleep Jesse into her crib and turned on the baby monitor. Amanda waited until her daughter's eyes were closed and she was in a deep sleep. She turned the light off and left the door opened a crack and went back down to face Declan.

The moment she stepped off the last step, Declan spoke. "Why didn't you tell me?"


	4. Admissions

_"Why didn't you tell me?"_

Amanda had the answer in her head, but struggled to let it out. The only thing she managed to say was, "I tried."

"You did?"

"Well...sort of," She explained. "I had an emergency c-section with her, I had a placental abruption—"

"Oh my God,"

"No, it's fine. I was in pain for a few weeks after that." She explained. "And all of a sudden I had Jesse and was up all night between crying and diapers and feeding her and trying to keep myself sane."

Declan looked perplexed. "Didn't your mother come?"

"No, we sort of had a fallout a few weeks earlier thanks to my sister. So it was just myself."

"You had my number. Why didn't you call?"

She gave a lame shrug and said, "You were four thousand miles away undercover in a sex trafficking case. I couldn't let you just up and leave a case to come help me. I told you before that I was fine and that I had this."

Declan remained silent for a few minutes. Amanda's cop investigating eyes studied him. She could tell he was tensed but wasn't going to blow up in anger like some people she knew would do in cases like this, but he did seem a bit upset.

"You're not mad, are you?"

"Not...not really." He answered. "I guess I can kind of understand, but she's my daughter too. First daughter, first child. I've missed out on so much."

"Do you have to leave so soon? Maybe stay for a few more days to make up some lost time?" She suggested. "I get it. A few days can't make up almost a year. But she is starting to get to know you."

"I wish I could darling, but I'm due back in a few days on a new case. I have no idea when I'll be back in New York. A year at least."

Amanda nodded. Now Amanda felt some guilt in her for not calling him back. Why didn't she do that? "You want to meet up for lunch tomorrow? I know this place Jesse loves."

Declan smiled. "Sounds great. Just text me the address and I'll meet you there around one?"

Amanda nodded. "Sounds like a plan." She said as she lead him out the door. "Stay safe."

"Have a good night, Amanda."


	5. Late Night Thinking

**Late Night Thinking.**

A few hours later Amanda was still up, though in a rocking chair now with a sleeping Jesse in her arms. She had woken up around two in the morning from a nightmare (no wetness in her pajamas, not hungry) so Amanda had to assume it was a nightmare. It took some time but finally the little one had went back to sleep.

As she slept Amanda watched her. It still amazes her how almost a year ago she had given birth to this human to call her own and many months earlier, during a winter blizzard in New York, she had conceived Jesse without intending too. Just passing time with Declan. Now not only did they have the most beautiful little girl in New York, Amanda couldn't imagine life without Jesse. From the moment she was born Amanda had a memory of Jesse. It was all fun at first but now, since Declan came back, she felt guilt in those memories.

She knew she should of told him. She knew she should have called him and told him about Jesse. But in all honestly because she went into emergency labor she had no time to call him and say, _"Hey, my water just broke. Get here when you can."_ and then right after Jesse was born she was caring for her all alone, no time for herself at all. Any free time she did have was taken by Franny or sleep. Next thing Amanda knew she was back at work and found herself completely okay and use to being alone with no help (minus the nanny for Jesse).

Of course there was _one_ other person in those memories. Yes there was Olivia and Fin, but the only one who stuck out the most was Carisi. Thanks to him and his child expertise, Amanda's first year as a single, young mother wasn't terrible. It still had its ups and downs, but he was there and helped her out when she needed it. Mostly for advise ("What food can she eat now?" "How should I hold her to burp her?" "What does this cry mean and how can you tell it's a hungry cry instead of 'hold me and sooth me' type of cry?"). Defiantly he was there for her and Jesse too.


	6. First Birthdays

**Because the last chapter was so short, I thought I would update a little bit early.**

 **I know a few of you guys were hoping to the lunch scene, but I didn't have that planned out. This is purely a Rollisi story. I love Declan though and I hope he makes a return on SVU soon. I'd love to see how Declan-Amanda-Jesse (Carisi?) storyline(s) breaks out.**

* * *

 **First Birthdays.**

Halloween came and passed and soon it was the day before Thanksgiving—Jesse's first birthday. Since her birthday was on a work day and even though Amanda had gotten the day off, she still planned for a party on Sunday afternoon when the small group of friends (plus a few moms from playgroup) could gather for the one year old girls birthday.

She had nothing planned for Wednesday except finish up some last minute shopping for Olivia's thanksgiving dinner at her apartment. She stood outside the apartment with Franny in the morning with the baby monitor in her hand, waiting for the birthday girl to wake up. Finally she woke up just as Amanda came back into the apartment with Franny. She walked up into the nursery and looked at the standing up year old. "Hey baby girl," Amanda picked her up and kissed her cheek. "It's your birthday!"

"Mama! Yogurt pwease?" Jesse laughed.

"Anything for you."

Everything in the morning was good. The two of them just hung around the apartment , watching educational but fun cartoons, playing with a few toys and with Franny and having sandwiches for lunch. While the two of them were eating lunch Amanda got a text on her phone.

 _Hey Rollins. If I'm done by six tonight, I'm taking birthday girl out for ice cream._

Amanda smirked at the text and replied back. _Hey Carisi, we got a curfew. Seven-thirty. On the dot._

 _Who said I invited you?_

"Uncle Sonny's going to get ice cream with us tonight. How's that?" Amanda asked Jesse. Jesse smile brightly and shouted 'ice scream' a bit loudly. _She says yes, but mommy's got to come._

 _Deal._

* * *

Fifteen minutes past half past six Carisi, Amanda and Jesse walked into the ice cream store that was partially empty, only a few people were inside including a young couple in their early twenties. The two females stood at the end of the line looking over what to grab while Carisi stood there waiting, already knowing ahead what he was going to get. Finally deciding on rocky road for Amanda and chocolate for Jesse, the trio ordered and sat at a table by the window.

"Hey Jesse, how old are you? Carisi asked.

"One!" She laughed and held up two fingers. "I one."

"Wow! Big girl!"

"How was work today?" Amanda asked. "Anything happened?"

"Surprisingly, nothing happening. You'd think where we live that there's a thing every day. Nothing the past five days, it's like all the bad guys took a Thanksgiving vacation." Carisi laughed. "Say, I'm bringing cannoli's to Liv's tomorrow."

"Cannoli's? Really?"

"Never can go wrong with a cannoli."

"Cannoli." Jesse repeated. "Cannoli."

"Good girl, Jesse." Carisi tickled her tummy, erupting a loud laugh from Jesse. Amanda couldn't help but smile at the picture in front of her.


	7. Words

**Words.**

Back at Amanda's apartment Jesse and Franny played together while Amanda and Sonny sat in the kitchen. Amanda was still unusually quiet like she was the past few weeks. "Amanda, you okay?"

"Fine."

"I know when you're lying."

"I'm fine."

"OK."

Another few moments of silence before Sonny spoke up again. "You know when you aren't focused on work bringing people to justice, your quiet."

"So?"

"That's not like you."

Amanda knew that he wasn't going to quiet asking her. It was just his thing. "Fine. Truth?" Sonny nodded. Amanda leaned back on the counter and said, "I'm not a good mother."

That hurt Sonny's heart. He hated when Amanda said that. She was a good mother. "Yes you are. Probably one of the few best mother's I know. Up there with my mother, sister and Liv."

"I've just been thinking about Declan coming back. When he came over he tried to bond with Jesse," Amanda recalled. She didn't give out specific details to Olivia or Sonny when they asked her about the visit. Just minimum words. "They bonded but it took Jesse and Declan a little while to get to know one another. Sometime after I told Declan why I didn't get around to calling him."

"Yeah, I remember you telling me that. You said he understood."

"He did. But I felt this...guilt in me that night. Like, I should have at least called him a few days later. Sonny, how would you feel if one of your ex-girlfriends or a girl your friends with but hook up with a few times, got pregnant and said she'd call you when the baby was born and you don't hear from her for a long, long time."

"Honestly?"

"Yes."

"Firstly, if I was able to keep track of the weeks and I didn't hear anything a month after her due date, I'd track her down and see my child." Carisi stated. "Even if I was undercover I would had maybe hired someone to track her down and see what was up."

"You bashing on Declan?"

"No, but I assumed either you've been telling him or if not than he'd hire someone." He said. "But I mean if I got my girlfriend pregnant and never told me and I found out years later, I'd be upset."

"Exactly." Amanda stated. "I-I didn't tell him for almost an entire year and he came back all of a sudden and now I have this guilt in me."

"Did you talk about it with him?"

"Not much. I mean, we decided at lunch that he'll send letters and video chat whenever he can, but not too often since he's undercover."

"Like I said I thought you've been doing that all along."

"I wish I had been."

* * *

Two hours later Sonny was on his way out to get home early for tomorrow's work day. Sonny tossed his jacket on just as he walked to the door, Amanda holding Jesse following behind. "Get home safe." Amanda said, giving him a friendly hug.

"Thanks." He said as he returned the hug. "Bye Jesse."

"Say 'bye' to Uncle Sonny."

The year old girl looked at Sonny and waved. "Bye daddy."


	8. November 30

**Wow. Hello! Did you think I forget? I didn't. I just had severe writer's block for this chapter for a few weeks and then was caught up in the holidays.**

* * *

 _November 30._

The few days that have passed since the birthday of Jesse had happened. Though neither Amanda or Carisi talked about it, they knew they had to discuss it sooner than later.

Following work on Friday, Amanda was already out the door and on the street heading back home when she heard her name called. She turned to find Carisi walking very quickly to catch up with here.

"Where's the fire?" She asked.

"Funny." Carisi laughed. "Jesse still up?"

"Yeah. Why are you asking?"

"I'm in the mood for spaghetti and wondered if maybe she'd want some. You can have some too if you want." He said with a joke tone at the end of his sentence as well as a smirk.

"Um...sure." Amanda replied.

* * *

Back at the apartment Amanda and Jesse sat in the living room watching some Disney movie that was on while Carisi made dinner. Amanda stood up at one point to get a bottle of water for herself. Just as she walked in Carisi was walking out with two strings of spaghetti on a fork. "Taste this." He held up one of the strings for Amanda. She took the string and ate it. "Good?"

"Great."

"Good." He said then shifted around her to head into the living room.

Amanda hid behind the wall and watched as her friend (or rather, best friend), walked over to her daughter and sit next to her.

"Jesse, try the pasta." Carisi said as he took the string, blew on it, then handed it to the year old girl. Jesse took a bite into it and smiled largely. "Good?"

"Yummy!" The little blonde cheered. She then went in to hug him, which Carisi took gladly and hugged her back.

Amanda waited to see if Jesse would call him 'daddy' again. As did Carisi. But Jesse said nothing after the hug and went back to the movie.

* * *

Nor did she say anything after Amanda told her to say goodbye to Carisi. Jesse simply waved at him as she started to fall asleep on Amanda's shoulder. Amanda put Jesse into her pajamas, into her crib and put the blanket over her and left the room with only the door opened a crack. Downstairs she found Carisi in the kitchen cleaning up. She grabbed a rag and instantly began drying the plates.

"Got any plans for tomorrow?"

"Visiting my parents out in Long Island. Bella's bringing Gabriella over to visit. Yourself?"

"Nothing much. Just hanging around with Jesse and Franny."

"Come out to Long Island. It'll be fun. Gabriella misses her best friend too. The other day Bella was telling me that Gabriella was asking for Jesse. 'Jesse? Jesse?' all day."

Amanda had no idea what took over her. She slammed the rag down on the counter and looked at Carisi directly. "Why?"

"Because they're best friends."

"No, why do you always want Jesse and I to hangout with you?" Amanda explained. "Whenever we both have a day off and you are single, you find ways to hangout with us. Park, food, merry-go-round, walks with Franny."

Carisi was taken by. He knew what they did, but somehow hearing it now from Amanda in that tone and her angry-confused face, it really made him think. "Well geeze Amanda, I just like hanging out with you."

"Yeah, I know."

Well, better now or never. "I like you."

"Yeah," Amanda huffed. "I like you too."

"No, I mean, really like you." Carisi told her. He dropped the we rag and dirty bowl into the wink and turned to Amanda. "I love you."

Amanda froze. Did she hear him correctly? "You what?" She asked.

"I love you." He repeated. "For the past two years we've known one another, I've really liked you. Not only are you a great cop but you are one of the kindest and compassionate people I've met in a long time. I didn't want to over bound because I thought you and Nick were secretly dating and then even long distance dating. But when you got pregnant and mentioned that Jesse wasn't Nick's baby I thought you had a new beau. But you never mentioned any guy so I assumed you were single. In that hospital room when you doubted you'd be a good mother, I didn't just say what I said to make you feel better. I knew you be a great mom. And you still are a great mom. And if someone is a great mom," He held her hand with his one hand. "That means they've got to be a great person."

Amanda listened. That was a lot to taken in. Did she feel the same way? She did really like Carisi. He was always there for her and willing to help or listen to her even before Jesse. The one secret time she had the urge to gamble on something, Carisi talked her out of it. The one time Amanda was going on a rant about her sister's behavior, Carisi listened to her. After her sister was arrested and her mother left Amanda, Amanda ranted about her family and how she hated bringing a baby into 'a dramatic family with a snobby, dramatic grandmother and her shadowing auntie Kim who is just as dramatic as their mother but breaks the law and goes MIA for years' it was Carisi there listening to her and reminding her that not all families are perfect. (His one sister whose been engaged several times, his second sister who won't date anyone unless their salary is as great as a lawyer or doctors, then Bella dating a guy who is considered a criminal to the state). Then when Jesse was born and Amanda felt like she was alone, Carisi was there. Making dinner whenever Amanda felt like just eating soup and burping Jesse while the the two of them and Franny watched crappy reality television. He was always there. Before Jesse and after Jesse, he was there for her.

After two minutes of silence Carisi asked, "Amanda?" He wanted to hear something. Anything.

Before Amanda could complete anything in her head with all this overwhelming information, a year old girl was crying upstairs in her room. "I'll be back."

* * *

She was upstairs for a half hour. She changed Jesse's diaper, nursed her and rocked her back to sleep. Once the little girl was asleep Amanda placed her back in the crib and just watched her. She watched Jesse but used the moments to take in what Carisi had said to her downstairs. She thought and listened to her brain and her heart.

Amanda walked downstairs some time later hoping Carisi was still hanging around, petting Franny or cleaning her apartment (she never did because Jesse would just make it a mess the next morning). "Hey, Carisi." Amanda turned into the living room and looked for him.

Empty.

"Carisi?"

No answer.


	9. Long Island

**Hello! I hope you all enjoy this chapter. I know I have Bella Carisi down and then for Gina and Theresa, I just sort of based them off the one episode they're mentioned in (first one with Bella I believe too).**

* * *

 **Long Island.**

Carisi arrived at his parent's home in Long Island and could already hear inside his sister Gina shouted. _"Gabriella, you give that lipstick back now!"_ He laughed knowing exactly what Abbey was going to do with that lipstick. He knocked on the door and two minutes later his sister Theresa opened the door. "Sonny, finally you got here. Your favorite little girl has been waiting for an hour."

"Hey Theresa," Carisi hugged her. "Where's Abbey?"

"Other room with the rest of the family."

The brother and sister duo walked to the other room where Sonny was greeted by a his father and Bella. Gina stormed into the room and looked directly as Bella. "Where is she?"

"Who?"

"You know who!"

"Theresa is next to Sonny."

Gina turned to her brother and waved then back to Bella. "Where the hell is Gabriella?"

"It's Abbey. And she's in the basement." Bella answered. Gina ran past her, shoving her to the side, and to the basement. Bella smirked. "Did I say basement? I meant kitchen."

"She's going to kick your ass." Sonny said hugging her. "Where's Ma?"

"She went to the store with your friend." Theresa answered as she sat down on the couch.

"My friend?" Carisi asked.

Before anyone could answer anything, the sound of feet running from the kitchen. First came Abbey, running to Bella's leg and hugging her leg. Second in running was a familiar blonde girl. "Jesse?" Carisi spoke. The blonde ran to her friend and hugged her.

"Jesse!" Abbey said.

"Abbey." Jesse said. She looked over and saw Carisi instantly. "Daddy!" She smiled and ran to hug his leg.

The other Carisi family members looked on as Sonny picked up the blonde girl and greeted her. A little shock to see him not correct the little girl about what she had just said to him. "Sonny, you adopted her or what?" Bella asked.

"No."

"So what's with the name?"

"It's, uh, kind of a funny story." He answered. "Is Amanda here?"

"No, she went to the store with your mother to help out with groceries. Because someone," His father looked at Theresa, "Wouldn't help her."

"Hey, I was in the shower." Theresa implied. "So the only one to blame is freaking Gina."

 _"I don't see her down here!"_ Gina shouted from the basement.

"Abbey, got the lipstick?" Sonny asked her. She held out the lipstick and handed it to him. Sonny tossed the lipstick to the other side of the room and winked at Bella. The two girls then ran out of the room and back into the kitchen.

Gina stormed in. "Where is it?"

"What?" Sonny asked.

"My lipstick!"

"The one by the window?"

Gina looked over and saw her lipstick. "How did it get there?"

"No idea." Theresa said.

"Well _obviously_ Gabriella place it there!"

"Abbey for the last time," Bella told her sister. "And no, she was in the kitchen with Jesse."

"You said basement."

"Kitchen, idiot."

"Who are you calling an idiot, moron!"

The two sisters began bickering back and forth. Theresa rolled her eyes, Mr. Carisi stood back and let the two of them fight; knowing that when it came to Gina and Bella there was no way of making them stop fighting unless it got physical. Sonny slowly stepped out of the room and towards the kitchen.

* * *

In the kitchen Carisi found the two girls at the child table eating crackers with juice boxes and toy stuffed animals in the chairs next to them. He sat on the ground next to them and hung out with the two girls for a bit until he heard him mother walk through the front door an hour later. He stood up and followed to the door to find his mother, his father walking into the house with bags of groceries. A few moments later, Amanda came walking in with the last two bags in her hands.

"Rollins."

"Hey," Amanda said. "You finally showed up."

"How did you get here before me?"

"The moment I told Jesse she was going to see Abbey, she got excited and tried to leave in her pajamas. I knew we had to get here soon enough." Amanda said. "We got here around ten."

"Geeze, that's early. I got here at half hour past eleven." He said. "Had I known you were coming here I would of come by earlier to get you two."

"It's fine." Amanda said. "Your family is really nice."

"You didn't see an argument yet?" He asked. Amanda shook her head. "Oh, you'll get a show later on."

* * *

The Carisi's and Rollins girls ate around one in the afternoon. Mr. Carisi and Mrs. Carisi both sat at the end seats, Theresa sat next to her mother and Gina sat next to their father. Sonny sat in the middle, directly across Jesse and Abbey. Jesse and Abbey sat in the middle next to one another and to their other side was their mother. Amanda next to Mrs. Carisi and Bella next to her father.

"So how's the criminal?" Gina asked Bella.

"Gina, can you call him by his name?" Bella hissed. "Abbey's been copying what she hears lately. I don't want her going around calling him a criminal. Or end up telling people 'Daddy's a criminal' either."

"How's the garbage man?" She asked.

"How's your twelfth boyfriend?" Bella restored. Gina rolled her eyes and sat back. "So, Amanda, how's your mom?"

Amanda hasn't spoken much to her mom since the whole Kim situation. She called to wish Jesse a happy birthday and mentioned that she'd come up for Christmas. "Fine. Just, hanging out with her friends mostly."

"What about that sister?" Gina asked. "I've read the papers so don't worry about thinking my brother said a word."

"Fine, I guess. I haven't visited her in two weeks. Probably next week." Amanda said.

"Look, I don't know much about the law or whatever but couldn't your sister claim to have a visit right to see Jesse?" Theresa asked. "I know a guy."

"Does he make more or less $600K?" Gina asked.

"Crap Gina, he's gay."

Bella quickly added, "700K."

"Wow, sucks for you Theresa."

"Shut up, Luigina."

Gina slammed her hand on the table and deadly stared at Theresa. "Shut _up!_ I hate that name!"

"Luigina?" Amanda whispered to Carisi, as Theresa and Gina continued to shout and their parents tried to make them both stop.

"Old tease name Theresa uses on Gina. Her real name is Gina, but Theresa picks at her by calling her Luigina. In Gina's opinion, it's a hideous name for repulsive people."

"Theresa and Gina, we have guest!" Their father shouted. Both girls stopped bickering and sat back (though they made faces at one another). "Sorry Amanda."

"No, it's okay. I just saw what my parents use to see with my own sister and I." Amanda smiled.

* * *

More shouting an screaming at one another (Theresa vs Gina, Bella vs Gina, Carisi vs Gina, Theresa vs Carisi, Bella vs Theresa) and dinner and dessert later, night came and the Carisi siblings and Amanda were all heading out. The two little girls were already asleep and in their car seats. Amanda offered Carisi a ride back home.

"Hey, so Sonny, do I have another niece now or what?" Theresa asked him. "Jesse's called you daddy, like, five times tonight."

 _She's lucky Amanda is talking to Ma right now._ Carisi thought. "No. Like I said, long story."

"Uh huh." Bella added in. "I think I got an idea why she's calling you that."

"Oh, what's that?"

"Do most of Jesse's friends' have a paternal figure in their life they call 'daddy'? Because I know for a fact that the few times I've watched her for Amanda, Jesse has seen Abbey call Tommy daddy."

"Your point?"

"She sees all these guys with her friends and they respond to the name daddy. I figure she might just be copying since you seem to hang out with the Rollins girls when you're single." Bella explained. "Amanda told me that the birth father guy, Declan is his name right? He's undercover so he isn't here physically but is going to be involved with Jesse's life one way or another. But it kinda seems like Jesse is seeing these adult boys respond to 'daddy' with her friends."

"Why'd you skip psych college again?" Theresa asked. "Oh yeah, to hang out with that low-life Tommy."

"I know a guy who makes 250K. He's a lawyer. You'd be a great couple."

"Oh my God, Bella!" Theresa shouted in anger. "Can you back off that! That's just Sonny's opinion that I only date certain guys!"

"How come all the ones you've liked then make more than 600K and we hated them, but the ones WE loved that happen to make less than 600K—you find an excuse to not date him!" Bella screamed.

Sonny backed away from the two sisters and towards Amanda's car just as Amanda came up. "What are they arguing about now?"

"Boys." He laughed. "Sometimes I wish I was the older one and tell them to not date any of the losers they've dated in the past." He turned to her and said. "I can walk back from your place."

"It's cold."

"It's fine."

"Whatever." Amanda said.


	10. Answers

**Hey guys! One chapter after this one. :)**

* * *

 **Answers.**

The drive back would only take an hour. That gave Amanda and Carisi enough time to talk. Though there was much talking of their past, more about Carisi's family and Amanda's family (like should they dare leave Gina and Kim in a room together for an hour). Carisi asserted it'd end with murder and Amanda said back to him, "They'll kill one another with insults before either of them touch hands on one another."

"Oh boy."

"Question," Amanda said as she turned the corner. "Where did you go last night?"

"Home."

"No, I mean I went to check on Jesse. I can't see you as being a guy who leaves when a mom cares for her child."

"I'm not." Carisi said with a surprise in his voice. Why would she think he left her like that? "I thought Jesse needed a feeding, like being nursed, so you nursed her and got so tired after feeding her and fell asleep on your bed after putting her into her crib."

"Oh."

"I didn't want to bother you so I just finished cleaning around and left." He answered. "I can't tell whose more of a mess. Franny, Jessie or you."

"Well thanks." She said as she turned the corner. "Do you mind watching Jesse when we get back so I can walk Franny?"

Carisi chuckled. "Do you think Uncle Sonny minds?"

* * *

At the apartment Carisi was holding the sleeping little girl while Amanda dug around for her keys. Finally she pulled the key out and unlocked and opened her door. Franny, who had been waiting too long for her owner to return, ran out instantly and to the front door.

"Franny!" Amanda called her back, but she didn't listen. "Get back here!"

"Want me to—"

"No," Amanda took the leash on the table. "I got her!" She took off to the stairs to get her dog.

* * *

Ten minutes later a now leashed up and empty bladder system Franny and Amanda returned to the apartment. Upon entering inside and taking the leash off Franny, Carisi came down the stairs. "You put her to bed?"

"Easy peachy. Just had to change her. She's not like most kids though, she doesn't' scream when she's on the table."

"Oh believe me. That's a miracle I'm glad she has." Amanda said.

"You don't mind, right?"

"What?"

"I changed her diaper. I've never changed her diaper before, so I don't know if that crossed a line or what."

"It's fine." Amanda said with a small smile.

The two cops stood in awkwardly in the hallway for a couple of moments. Just as Carisi was grabbing his jacket to head out Amanda said, "Hey, Sonny."

"Yeah?"

"About last night. I, uh," She smiled as she attempted to find the words. Words and romance weren't exactly her thing. "I like you too. A lot."

Carisi smile. "For real?"

"Yeah. We've been friends for two years and know just about everything about one another. You've been there for me before Jesse, supporting me and telling me I'm a good person whenever I've doubted myself, and you've been there after Jesse, which not many guys do. Stand around and help the mom with the child that isn't there child. You constantly remind me that not every family is perfect and that even those not perfect families have a chance of being somewhat normal and support one another." She told him. Okay, she was rambling now. "I guess what I'm saying is," She smiled. "I love you too."

That brought a smile to the detectives face. He never thought he'd hear those words from her mouth. In a cliché swift moved, Carisi wrapped his arms around Amanda, tilted her a bit and kissed her. Amanda obliged to the kiss and pressed into him. Their kiss lasted for what felt like three minutes before they both stood back up, still holding onto one another. "It's almost midnight." Amanda said. "Sleepover for the night."


	11. Mornings

**Last chapter! :(**

* * *

 **Mornings.**

Amanda woke to the wet licks of Franny on her face. Amanda shoved Franny away but already knew that she was awake. Usually on Sundays Jesse woke up at the crack of dawn, literally, and tried to get Amanda to wake up. Amanda almost always got Jesse back to bed by letting her sleep next to her. But she saw no daughter in the room and the room was already gleaming. Her alarm clock read 8 AM. Amanda sat up and felt the cold hit her body. She looked down and saw no shirt or bra on her. She checked under the sheets and saw nothing either.

Last night came back to her. The admission, the kiss, making out on the couch and then making their way upstairs to her room for more intimacy. Amanda looked to the side and nobody in the bed next to her. She checked out the room and found her clothes from the previous night scattered from the doorway to the bed. But Carisi's clothes weren't scattered along with hers on the ground.

Carisi didn't seem like the type to leave in the morning unless there was some sort of work emergency or family emergency. She began to guess it was the latter of the two, until she heard his voice downstairs

 _"One or two waffles, Jesse?"_

* * *

"Two pwease." The little girl smiled as she used the straw in her cup to suck up her apple juice. Jesse dropped some Cheerio pieces on the floor for Franny and laughed when the dog jumped up and ate the pieces. "Park?"

"Yeah," Carisi said as he turned to Jesse. "We can go over there today. Only if mommy ever wakes up."

"Abbey go?"

"Not today." He answered. He already knew that Bella had to bring Abbey to the doctors and then to some playgroup thing in Brooklyn with some other mothers. "Next Sunday, how's that?"

"Okay." Jesse smiled. A minute later she shouted, "Mama!"

Carisi turned and saw Amanda in a t-shirt and sweat pants walking into the kitchen with half her hair tied up in a bun, looking very rested. "Morning."

"Waffles?"

"Special request." He said as he handed Amanda a hot cup of coffee. "She's already had a pancake but was still hungry."

"That's fine. Whatever she doesn't finish I'll eat."

"She's an early bird and you are a deep sleeper." Carisi pointed out.

"I was up late." She said. One eyebrow lifted and giving him a look she said, "I haven't been up past midnight like that in years."

The two cops just smiled at one another.

"Mama."

"Yeah baby girl?" Amanda looked at her.

"Daddy food yummy." The little blonde said. "Yummy, yummy."

Carisi looked back at Amanda and Amanda at Carisi. They never really figured out or talked about Jesse calling Carisi that name.

To Carisi, he loved it. He knew deep in his heart that Declan was obviously the father and that Declan wanted a relationship with his daughter. He also knew that Declan was not physically here to be with Jesse. Not his fault because while Jesse is important, Declan's work as an undercover cop in a prostitution ring was just as important. But...Carisi did feel it was important to have some sort of father figure in life, especially for little girls (knowing full well that a little girl who has no relationship with her father and has no father figure in her life to guide her, will look for another male figure to give her attention and guidance...sometimes not the best guys). And he loved Jesse like she was his own blood. If Amanda, however, didn't want Jesse to call him that than he would accept that too.

To Amanda, she had no clue if Carisi cared about being called that. She and Declan had talked about their raising Jesse together over lunch the day after Declan came to the house to visit. A long, detail discussion about their relationship to one another and their raising Jesse together. They came to agreements (bi-weekly letters, video chats when possible and when Declan made a full return to New York in a few short years than Jesse would stay with him on the weekends).

Though their discussion happened before Jesse's birthday, Amanda already was beginning to think of Carisi being a father figure to Jesse since he's the first adult male in her life Seeing that this seemed to be the tenth time Jesse had called him this name and each time Carisi never corrected Jesse (and now the look on his face being a questionable one), Amanda knew her answer.

"Does Daddy make better food than Mama?" She asked Jesse.

"Yeah."

"Hear that Daddy?" Amanda turned back with a smile. "You're the official chef of the house."

The corners of his mouth lifted up but he still lingered onto one thing. "What about—"

Sense the question Amanda blurted out, "We talked about it at lunch. He wants to be involved but he's undercover for at least another two years or close to that. Besides, Declan is more Papa material than Daddy."

"Papa?"

"I'm not having you and him be Daddy 1 and Daddy 2 like some Dr. Seuss book," She laughed softly. "Papa is the next best word. He's not just her father, he's her Papa. You're not just Uncle Sonny or a father figure to Jesse," She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled them together. "You're daddy."

"Daddy." He laughed as he hugged both arms around Amanda. "I can get use to that."

"Me as well."

* * *

 **Fear not! For I have another SVU story in mind. I just need to find the time between other stories, school work, work work and much more in the middle to start it up.**


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